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Getting comfortable with the opposite of loss

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"Thirty years of grief and longing have given her face the look of something too often folded and creased; a smile seems unfamiliar, And she tries it on now as she might some garment that she's almost certain will not suit. "They try to prepare you for loss," she said. "It never occurs to them to prepare you for the opposite." I nodded. "I know. We'll manage," I said. - The Girl With No Shadow, Joanne Harris Theobroma cacao flower From the small window at the foot of our futon I catch blurring shapes. My glasses are on the table. Once they're on my face I see the dust rise from the horse ring at the other end of the campground. Horses. Horses running without riders. Horses running free. We've been living on this small town campground, part of the fairground, for more than a year. We've seen the cycle of comings and goings of people and vehicles, events and activity; and the lock-down brought on by the pandemic has shif

"Like myths, symbols are thus ambiguous; they resist certainty."

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Life is one crazy cake! Confined in our tiny home space the shuffle of cards (tiny) blends with what is around me and in me. The cut grass outside is discomforting to me. I have allergies. For a while the windows and doors are sealed shut. A big riding lawn mower cut the campground lawn on an otherwise quiet Sunday stirred up my aura, and Pete's. Stirred to craziness by noise and the conflict of differences in priorities sleep and calm were difficult to access. It's not the first time a big riding lawn mower has stirred me to craziness. It's not the first time for turning the fuzzy edges into cake. My mojo. My magic was tampered with. To reconnect I went to the metaphor of cooking, and cooked up flan. I was supposed to be taking a break from blogging ... and I did. And then, I felt the edges of my subtle body touched by the finger tip of aloha; someone had left her calling card and I could make space for change.  The card spoke in myth, woven with my Mother's ton

"It's the dream warrior ..."

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"Mars is moving through Pisces. It’s the dream warrior, navigator of the hidden inner world. What you make of everything now can stick, if only you’ll believe it into reality. The only way to do that is to follow the steps you’re meant to take (divinely driven). That means no cheating; follow the signs and do the work" - "Remember When You Liked Yourself?" - Satori    I'm taking a break from writing safety pins, needing to be refreshed and refueled so as my friend Satori puts it "What you make of everything now can stick, if only ... no cheating, follow the signs and do the work."

Fasten your safety pins!

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"It was a day a duck could love. For that matter the week was a duck's paradise. Dressed for the season in my long skirt, paisley wool shawl, and tea cozy hat with the red hibiscus over my left ear my feet splashed in puddles... The wind began to dance with me as I lifted my nose and sniffed from beneath the felt hat now much soaked through with rain. No fairies. But, a large copper pin about the size of a butterfly dropped from the cherry red awning above me and landed on my right shoe. A pin. A safety pin. "My Ma, "I said to myself. Besides being famous for carrying a flashlight my mother always wore at least one but more often a couple safety pins. Just in case. Long before it was punk fashion, safety pins are a talisman of security hard-wired in my DNA like knowing how to make something out of nothing. I fondled the pin and felt the distance of time between us compress... The Safety Pin Cafe Years ago, and not far away, we lived in the woods at t

Halfalope, Individual Mindful Effort in the Fog

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There was no ease to following sleep, the drowsiness escaped me, replaced with rewinding every fleeting worry from the day, the week, the month. My Worry Warts grew and nothing would calm them. When I finally tired of not being tired I feel asleep and into a nightmare that rattled me to the precipice of crazy. I needed to dissolve the boundaries of crazy, and called to Pete. "Gotta turn the light on, honey." Counting a few beats, I waited long enough for him to shield his eyes. Looking down at my tray of small brown bottles filled with tinctures, I hunted for the one that would cut through the cosmic nuttiness. Stellaria Media . Chickweed. More often than not, I fill the dropper full, squeeze the tincture into my thin-skinned ceramic sake cup, pour filtered water to the top and sip. But this time I asked for a count. "How many drops?" I really needed to get as close to 'right' as possible. The Wise Woman Tradition says, there are no rules and no r

Wash Day

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It's one of those beautiful days  One of those days perfect for washing and drying clothes, dangling from the doorway, our colors fly free. A sweet Southern Breeze blows through the campground while the Sun warms the late February afternoon, giving us his radiant glow of a Pisces Transformation ... fish swim in both directs at once . Water buckets emptied after wash day Solar-powered clothes drier Bunnies roam in both directions The weather is already shifting, a gauzy layer of cloud-cover settles above us. We knew the change would come, but when the sun and wind are in accommodating positions, we do the same. The sun has arched across the sky, and will tuck himself behind the Alder tips. With a bit of luck there will be enough warmth to get our clothes mostly dry, and more easily 'topped off' with a few minutes on the pole inside the kitchen, or over the heater. Fish and Bunnies roam in both directions. On Wash Day we do too. Mahalo K

A Magic Trick of the Highest Order

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Yerba Bruja, Kalanchoe pinnata, Air Plant Today, Sunday, February 23, 2020 is the New Moon in Pisces. A big dense rain squall has passed and the morning is quiet. The tent campers who arrived late last night have packed up and moved on. While I lay under the quilts I heard Robin singing in the downpour. The winter has been as dense with elemental forces as the short but squat rain storm. We have been saturated with the effects, humbled by the requirements to adjust to viruses, cold and damp cooking conditions; swamped by emotional overload and sobered by hard reality checks. But, New Moon is a time to release the old and commit to the new. "The new moon in Pisces takes place in the morning on February 23rd.  If you can deal with some fog, this can be an unusual, sweet situation.  I may be the only astrologer who thinks this, so I’ll explain! The sun and moon will be conjunct Mercury which is retrograde . If you need to cry about that, go ahead.  Neptune is also in